5. I know, I know, it’s a Walmart add. But I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING when I watch it. Fear of spiders and heights I understand, but what is the natural original of Coulrophobia?

4. The definition of marriage, according to the word of the Bible.

3. I get really excited every time I hear Pat Robertson begin a sentence with “you know …..”

2. Welcome to Franz Kafka airport.

1. Tom Waits, and Tom Waits only, should read Charles Bukowski.