Category: Editorials

No Good, Cotton-Pickin’ Gov’t Stickin’ its Nose in Lorne’s Business!!

Posted on by Rocco

On the morning of February 28th, The National Post columnist Lorne Gunter woke up angry. Not just angry, but Evangelical angry! We’re talking Ted-Haggart, that-effing-prostitute-stole-my-watch kind of angry! Now you may ask, who the hell is Lorne Gunter and what the hell is The National Post?

Well, first you should know a little bit about myself. I’m a very antagonistic person. And being antagonistic, I find it rather exhilarating to watch and read things that, well, antagonize me. To get my kicks, I used to watch clips of Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck on www.youtube.com, then I learned that the National Post finally joined the twentieth century and created a website on the Interweb. ‘The Post’ is Canada’s print answer to Fox News. And Lorne? Well, Lorne is our very own Poppa Bear in print, Canada’s Bill O’Reilly.

And what got Canuckistan’s Poppa Bear so riled up that morning in late February? Learning that the CRTC (Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission), the country’s broadcasting regulator, had bowed to public pressure and decided to ditch lifting the ban on allowing “fake news” on the airwaves.

To explain, let’s go back to 1992. Ah yes, before the world learned that Grunge Music was in fact, utter crap (Yes it is. Just a bunch of hippies with amps). In a Supreme Court ruling, it came out that Denier Ernst Zundel, an outspoken Holocaust denier could not be charged for spreading false information. Upon this ruling, Parliament’s joint committee begin sending requests for the CRTC to lift their regulations which prohibited the broadcasting of false information, as prohibiting it was now technically unconstitutional. The CRTC ignored the letters, but finally relented in December of 2010. They considered changing their no-ifs-ands-or-buts prohibition to simply punishing those broadcasters who “knowingly” spread false information. To make a long story short, the CRTC asked for public consultation, and the public, out of fear of a ‘Fox News North’ answer with a resounding NO. The CRTC then decided not to ease their fake news prohibition.

Lorne wasn’t fooled by who was behind this “public pressure”, nosiree!

“I imagine a bunch of unionists, environmentalists, feminists, New Democrats, Liberals, immigration advocates, gay-rights advocates and social activists called up and warned that if the new regulations came into effect, their neighbours and fellow countrymen might be unable to distinguish truth from fiction.”

In other words, what got Lorne Gunther foaming at the mouth was precisely that – for the time being – there won’t be a Fox News-North to provide news for your neighbours and fellow countrymen to identity as complete and utter BS (or not).

And he’s right to be angry. What? Does BIG government think we’re stupid or something?

When we go to a restaurant, anyone with half a brain can tell if the veal is fresh or not, right?

When we buy a condo, we don’t really need BIG CITY building codes to ensure that what we’re buying won’t collapse in the middle of the night. We can tell just by looking at it that the place safe!! Just tap the walls and kick at the tires, is what I say!

So, why should we have standards forced down our throats when it comes to the news? Let the people determine – in between clearing the dishes, doing the bills, taking the garbage out, and putting the kids to bed – what’s BS or not. Let the people be their own fact checkers! What do you think the interweb is for, anyway? Heck, even our Prime Minister is getting in on the action.
 

 

Glad I got that off my chest.

The Myth of the Self-Made Man

Posted on by Rocco

“I personally think that society is responsible for a very significant percentage of what I’ve earned.”

— Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

“The opportunities to create wealth are all taking advantage of public goods–like roads, transportation, markets–and public investments… We are all standing on the shoulders of all that came before us, and creating a society for our children and those that come after us. We have obligations as part of that.”

— Jim Sherblom, venture capitalist and former chief financial officer of Genzyme

 

 

I recall a late night talk show where actor Nicolas Cage, who as a youth sold popcorn in a movie theatre, was asked how he ever managed to make it from working in a candy booth to acting on the silver screen. I don’t remember his response, but I do know that his explanation avoided mentioning that his real last name is Coppola, as in Francis Ford, as in the powerful and influential movie producer. Mentioning such a fact, in our western culture, would be the male equivalent to admitting that he “slept his way to the top”. Having confessed to using the well established means at his disposal, in the eyes of the public, would damage his credibility as an actor.

There is a sad irony here, that society expects, in fact, pressures a man, when he attains a certain level of success to “unacknowledge” the help and assistance that the very same society provided in order for him to achieve his goals. Nicolas Cage, a Hollywood movie actor, is a very appropriate example of this because nothing exploits the romance of the underdog/diamond-in-the-rough/American Dream more than Hollywood films.

Let’s face it, as westerners we all want the little guy to succeed, to overcome all obstacles and get the girl, the big house, the chair in the Oval Office. But, to be the little guy, to create these personal legends, we, man and often enough, women, have to either forego any kind of help from those around us and/or deny that we ever received help. We also feel that it is a public duty to frown upon those who openly accept the help of family and community.

Case in point: The National Post’s Rex Murphy, has written an article in which he sentimentalizes the Newfoundland of old, where people were self-reliant, industrious, independent and didn’t suffer from “the Oprah gene of emotional incontinence and reckless, exhibitionary self-worship.”

He cites an example of a 70-year-old man who built his own fishing boat. He portrays the man as humble and taciturn and completely independent from anyone else. “He needed no one. Had to ask help of no one. Took money nor grant from no one. This was his boat.” The gist of the article, following the spirit of those in a series of Post articles entitled The Death of Personal Responsibility, is that we, the average Canadians, should all carry our own water, fight our own fights, keep a stiff upper lip, and a litany of other tough-love platitudes designed to shame the users of character-sapping social programs and pesky beaurocratic human right councils.

The hypocrisy of the article and those in the series cannot be overstated. Rex Murphy makes a good chunk of his income giving commentary on CBC’s The National, and hosting CBC’s Cross-Country Check-up, both programs funded by tax dollars, mostly from average Canadians. Simply put, Rex Murphy is paid with tax dollars from average Canadians while instructing average Canadians not to rely on the benefits and programs made available through tax dollars mostly funded by average Canadians.

It doesn’t stop there. Conrad Black, publisher of the National Post, and enemy of most things welfare, was born into great wealth. And while he and his journalists currently attack the Canadian ‘nanny’ state, Conrad certainly didn’t waste time in reapplying for coverage under the Canadian Health Care system when he returned – cash strapped – from his rather long, um, vacation, in the US.

It could be that both these men reconcile the chasm between their actions and words with the rationalization that while applying for the use of – or benefits from – tax dollars is parasitic, using ones political and economic clout, or business acumen to extract tax dollars from the coffers of government can be considered entrepreneurial. Or perhaps it’s just that they know what they are claiming is pap, and just want more tax dollars for themselves.

That both men openly deride and take succour from the welfare state isn’t lost on the average Canadian reader who agrees with Rex’s article and others like it. With a brief glance at the comments section, one can easily pick our revealing sentences and phrases like “proud not to have gone on the dole” and “leftist socialist dogma”. The section is rife with anti-Trudeauisms, which shouldn’t be surprising. But nevertheless, most of the commenters seem lucid and astute, and appear to be up on current affairs.

Why do they omit these glaring contradictions?

Perhaps it’s something to do with that while we all know who Nicolas Cage’s uncle is, the last thing we want him to do is tell us that he used these connections – that we could never have – to advance his career. This would destroy the mythos his publicist has created for him. And if he destroys that mythos, than he also destroys the hope that if we wanted, we could also join him on the silver screen. Therefore, both the audience and Nicolas Cage quietly agree to omit the harsh facts, in order perpetuate the tantalizing myth of the independent underdog rising to fame.

Like Nicolas Cage, the Myth of the Self-Made is an static image. A cowboy smoking a cigarette against a setting sun, an old man building his own boat. It doesn’t matter if the cowboy accepted farming subsidies, or if Rex Murphy’s old man died peacefully in bed or drowned at sea or was eventually taken in by his family. What matters is that single snapshot, whose real-world value exists – like Santa Claus – only in the minds of the believers and those who knowingly perpetuate the belief.

How to Make a Good Mug of Coffee

Posted on by Rocco

I’m stressed. Where normally I would be browsing the websites of major Canadian newspapers, lately, I find myself shunning them. My usual morning ritual of listening to CBC on the way to work in the morning has been usurped by a half-hour of soothing, mind-numbing music. As well, part of me is thankful that, as a teacher, I can shut out the outside world for hours at a time. And while I’m not writing, I’ve been giving the warrantee on my PS3 a run for its money. For the lack of a real word, I’m feeling kind of ‘escapy’ lately.

Of course, one large source of my worries is the political landscape of my fair country, its obnoxious players and ominous trends of late. A June 5th article in The Globe and Mail predicted a Conservative majority in 2011. Who needs to read that on a Wednesday? It’s midway through the workweek, for crying out loud; it’s cause for mild celebration. But nooooo, Andrew Steele has to rub his educated opinions in my face at 6:30 in the morning. Perhaps John Ralston Saul was right in stating that although we can remember singular events, the average person on the street has no linear memory, which would be very useful in remembering that our $13 billion national surplus occurred before our country’s current administration came into power, and the $56 billion deficit came after. But hey, I’ve got to live with my capitalist-no-free-handouts-except-for-me! friends, so I will digress, and in the spirit of Christopher Hitchens’ article How to Make a Decent up of Tea, I will lend some of my own advice on how to make a decent mug of coffee.

Yes, the irony of writing an article about being stressed while glorifying coffee isn’t lost on me. But as a Cappuccino-drinking, limp-wristed Toronto elitist, I would like to remind you of the deeper irony that people like me are often mocked for drinking espresso – coffee in its most concentrated form – by those who manfully pride themselves as fans of Tim Horton’s, a brew which couldn’t be more insipid if it came with training wheels and a set of water-wings by comparison. Or, as I say, coffee for bed-wetters.

First of all, forget everyday brands like Maxwell House, Folgers, and Van Houtte. Why? Because these are regular coffee. This is not an elitist thing, it’s a strength thing. What you need is something POTENT. I always go for Medaglia D’oro Caffe myself. You can find tins of it in most supermarkets; it has the colours of the Italian flag. If not, you can try some Lavazza. What? The names sound to uppity-European for you? Well, remember Rocky Marciano? He had a European last name as well, are you going to call him limp-wristed? Turkish coffee is also pretty good but, it’s a little too light for my taste.

Next, get yourself a French Press or one of these guys. I just bought one of the latter and WOW, I tasted the infinite. There is nothing like pressure brewed coffee. The first time tried it, it was too strong, even for me. And whatever you do, do not pack the filter. I learned the hard way, and my stove top suffered the consequences.

If you are, however, committed to your percolator, just take whatever you normally put in the strainer, and double it. If you can see sun through a freshly-brewed pot, than it is too weak. In fact, the coffee should be black enough that it absorbs any light from the immediate area. Oh, and I almost forgot, be sure to add a teaspoon of cinnamon to the grinds BEFORE you brew it. I know, I know, cinnamon. But it takes the edge off what is an extremely potent mug of coffee. I’ve also tried egg shells, and they work for the taste as well, but this is where cleanliness comes into play. If you’re the kind of person who tends to leave the old grinds in the filter while you go away on a trip, then I wouldn’t recommend it. If you’re the kind of person who has the dust-buster on standby while you’re eating cookies, then by all means, knock yourself out.

Lastly, if you like to sweeten your coffee, then I recommend a tablespoon of honey, or even better, genuine maple syrup. Don’t knock it till you try it. You’ve got to fight fire with fire, and what you have just brewed is something thick and bitter, what you need to counter the bitterness is something sweet and just as thick. Table sugar just won’t cut it. You’ll find it cowering at the bottom of the mug, dazed and blinking into the light. After that, it’s just a matter if you like your coffee creamed or not. But for me, dairy is just window dressing for the amateurs.

I hope this helps, and that I’ve managed to convert some of you ardent Tim Horton fans into trying out some REAL coffee.

Finally, I just like to mention to all the tea drinkers: quit fooling yourself. Warm tap water is cheaper, and just as tasty.

The World Swings Right

Posted on by Rocco

“There’s a revolution going on and we’re on the wrong side”, Paisley Rae says to me over dinner. She and I have been talking about what we always talk about when we meet up, politics. This time around it’s about the state of affairs in Canada. More specifically, what Paisley thinks is a slow and steady shift to the political right for the country’s voting public. There’s a lot of merit to that claim, given the recent municipal election win of right-winger Rob Ford to Toronto’s top seat, the rise of conservative Tim Hudak, who has set his sights on Ontario’s premiership in the next provincial election, and a federal Conservative minority government that us lefties haven’t been able to shake in what seems like donkeys years.

I don’t want to agree with her and it shows. I tell her that the average person is becoming more conservative as a response to the credit crisis and currently responding well to any austere measures proposed or made by government. Socially, people have shifted to the right because of 9/11 and all the bombing attempts since (Bear in mind that I’m saying this through mouthfuls of house salad, and not with the polished cadence you are reading here).

But I have to face facts, there is no denying that things have gotten more conservative up here in Canuckistan, and throughout the developed world, for that matter, but – as awful as this may sound – I think there’s more to it than horrific events like 9/11 and economic disasters like the credit crisis. The societal fallout from the former and the spending habits of the developed world leading up to the latter are part of slow and gradual failure of the system as a whole.

First, take money-strapped public school systems that have been pressuring their teachers to push kids through school before they ready. When the students graduate – a good number of them semi-illiterate, according to the CBC – many will be unlikely to pick up another book again. Those students who go from highschool to college will do so to learn a skilled trade. Those that go on to university will choose majors that will land in careers that pay well. In either case, if any of college or university students take a course in the humanities (arts, literature, history) it will merely be for the elective, and not out of personal interest.

(Now, let me be clear by saying that going to university or college to secure a decent job is a perfectly reasonable and responsible choice to make. However, the point I want to get across is that the focus of an MBA or an electrician’s apprenticeship program is to train a student for a specific career path or trade; it is not meant to encourage personal introspection, critical thinking, or any kind of world perspective.)

Second, now that you have a population of people with a little bit to a lot of extra money/credit and not too much time for self-reflection or critical thinking, you couple them to a multi-billion dollar media industry designed to fascinate and titillate the viewers with shows about affluent people living fabulous and exciting lives (while simultaneously making the audience feel like crap about their own lives), all while streaming out the message “buy this and you will be happier” twenty hours a day seven days a week.

If you know where I am going with this, you might be saying to yourself that people aren’t really that manipulable. Yes, there are. I know this because I am as just as manipulable. I consider myself creative, well-read, reasonably level-headed and non-materialistic. I don’t have cable TV so I don’t have the exposure to commercials that most people do, but nevertheless, I get envious of friends who have bigger homes and nicer cars. And although I don’t care much for expensive gadgets, I walk into an Apple store and I suddenly feel like a kid in a…well…candy apple store (I really want a new Ipod Nano! The touch-screen is so cool!) In regards to scaring easily, I’ll tell you that more and more these days the news stresses me out to the point where I seek shelter in my Mp3 player on the way to work in the morning. It’s so much easier just to tune in to mindless, mind-numbing melodies than to face the REAL music.

Now, imagine a whole population of people, who just want to tune out the world completely, as well as no way of addressing there darker inner thoughts and fears. If you can imagine this, then you can imagine an under-informed population, easily spooked by news reports about terrorists, and whose only outlet from this fear – as well as from day to day stresses – is to either get home and smother their worries in the latest episode of Modern Family, or go to the mall and buy a flatscreen for the kitchen.

Add all these factors together and what do you get? Well, on one particular day a year, you get something like this:

Think my theory is a bit of a stretch so far? I find it very difficult how else to explain a crowd of well-fed people would behave this way. These aren’t mobs alcohol-enraged football fans, neither are they throngs of people escaping the fire of gunman. These are shoppers.

TV and shopping are the mirror and the security blanket for such a populace. The former is the gateway to the luxurious lives that have ever been denied it. The latter is a weekly or daily taste of the pleasure, security and control the members of the population would have in such a life. Both are fantasies held together by buying power. Take away a person’s buying power, fragile as it is in these trying times, and you take away a good chunk of their identity. In another Youtube video, the narrator describes how people in the states are so desperate for cash they are turning their houses into restaurants. My reaction to this is not one of sympathy for the home-owner-come-restaurateur, but one of frustration towards the patrons: If things are so tight that you can’t afford even McDonalds, why not just stay home and save your money? The answer is that other than TV, buying stuff is the only outlet these people possess. It’s all they’ve been taught.

So Paisley, to respond to your statement in a rather roundabout way I would say: no wonder there’s been a shift to the right. The zeitgeist of today is busy trying to reconcile the glorious spending sprees of the past with the thinner wallets of the present. It has little time for thoughts about safety nets and social programs, public community centres and light rail transit. And this zeitgeist, paranoid about terrorists and worried about its latest Visa bill, has very little patience for those liberals that would entertain thoughts of diverting any of its remaining spending money to fund such things.